Cold Spring

«I do not know why I decided to do this (a hunger strike). Probably I was rebelling against the fact of how smoothly and well-coordinated everything was going on: detention, registration in the police office, the court. They did not shout, did not demand anything, did not swear. This conveyor really made me mad. I wanted somehow to change the situation.

It was scary when several people were randomly taken from their cells and accompanied god knows where, and then you stand facing the wall, with your hands behind your back and hear "Open our mouth, we need to collect your saliva." And you do not understand what it is. This is how genetic analysis samples are collected. But explanation at all. I began to think quickly, but while I was thinking (I was the fourth in the line), they had already done it with two girls. Addressing those who remained, I said, "No way, you are free not to do it!" Such a type of sample can be taken from anyone, but everyone also has the right to refuse.»

«For a couple of years it was quiet here, there was a hope that everything would come to its senses, that the situation would change. After the arrest, I had a feeling of inevitability. The wheels swirled, and whatever you do, there is no law, we are out of it, it became a decoration. You understand that you have become a toy in the hands of the power system and it is not clear what it actually has in mind – to let you go or to come up with a new punishment.

If you do not go into politics, it goes to you. Most of those detained on March, 25 were random people. My friend was going to a meet his friend for a beer, they were not going to take part in the rally.

Why is this all? What have you proven and to whom? Was there anyone who knew nothing about you? You wanted to hear the citizens and here they came expressing their protest. Why are you then meeting them with water jets? They carry no stones with them, no bottles with a "Molotov cocktail". Join the dialogue, talk to people.

It is impossible to hide one’s discontent, crisis and conflict under the blanket. Everyone is going to feel bad when it gets revealed. And it makes me very sad».

«There is a nightmare happening in your life: you are detained, injustice occurs - the brain, as a protective reaction, begins to worry about practical things, medicines and something like that.

My sister was also detained and her first letter was full of instructions about what flowers at her place should be watered, who to contact at her work. It may look strange, and you might want to get some emotions, you want a person to write "My dear family, do not worry", but with the help of such instructions, as it seems to me, we are protecting ourselves from shocks and stress.

To be honest, in the next few months I would not want this experience to repeat. One time is quite painless for health and for work, school or something else. But if they decide to put me in prison again, then it might be much more harmful and for the psyche, as well. I would not say loud phrases claiming that I am not afraid of anything and will go out to the end and that I have nothing to lose.

Now I have more emotions, empathy, support, the sense of community and understanding, what is really important, and what is senseless, imaginary problems. Being on this wave, you can make plans, come up with projects, understand something, tell people what is probably hard to say in usual situations, because sense get sharpened».

« They tried to exert psychological pressure on me: every day I was transferred to a new cell. I was not taken out for a walk for 5 days in total, 9 days without taking a shower. Every morning we gave them a pile of complaints.

When I was transferred to another cell, they took me there, completely undressed me and then made me squat. You are in a room, there is a cage, a table, cameras and a woman in uniform standing in front of you when you are getting undressed. "Squat!". One feels the hierarchy. She has power, she dominates you, and you have to do all she says, because you are arrested. It's a common practice, they check everyone like this. But then I found out that not everyone.

People used to think that only those who break the rules get to prison. Now they see that yesterday it happened to strangers whom they could consider criminals, and now it can happen to their sons, daughters, even to parents. Today they arrest a neighbor - and tomorrow in his place you can find yourself.

The decree was only an excuse, an incentive to voice all the problems that exist in the society. The decree will end – others will take its place. If the regime is against its own people, the people always win ».

« One can not rely on one day, and then be severely disappointed - the opposition leaders has already stepped on these rakes. In one day there can not happen a sudden revolution, after which we will wake up in democratic Belarus.

We must understand that the struggle for one's rights is a long process and one must set realistic goals. As a result of the fact that the opposition presented the March 25th as a "judgment day" in which everything will be decided and the revolution will take place, the authorities themselves became frightened and began to make sharp movements, giving a damn on relations with Europe. And in the end this intimidation worked. Therefore, on March 25, few people came out - they were resolute, courageous, best people of Belarus. But there were too few of them. The police had a multiple numerical superiority ».

« You are just staying at home: 12 o’clock, one pm, two pm, and you are following what is going on, how people are grabbed, at first just people, then journalists are starting to be detained. You start feeling ill at ease, but you seem to have the advantage: you are sitting “hidden” at your own place, with a closed door and everything seems to be normal.

At first they knocked, not too loudly, then it was an insistent and very loud knock. You felt you were in danger, you understood that you were alone at home and you could expect no support or protection from anywhere to come. Neighbors could also be standing at the door and looking at you in the peephole, but no one would help you in any way, even if friends came, it would not save you in any way.

I went to the door, looked in the peephole, saw a man in civilian clothes and did not even ask anything, it was clear to me, I opened a bit the inner door, the dog was barking. I had some time to warn a maximum number of people about what was going on so that they could know that I would most likely be detained.

This strange feeling of fear, fear which cannot be explained. Yes, I saw that many people were detained, I saw people being beaten, but why does this fear appear? You are sort of prepared, you know, where you live, you know that this can happen, but still you are afraid. When they began breaking the door, I realized that it would not end up with the fact that they would turned off the light or knock and leave, while I would pretend that there was no one at home. They purposefully came here and would not give it up ».